Monday, October 18, 2021

Too often we miss it


Life can be an adventure particularly when you are functioning in the world of business. People around the globe generally try to keep their work / personal lives separate and distinct. There are instances however that cause the two worlds to meet. They are quite real and often will not be denied recognition by those who are experiencing the situations at the times they take place. 

Very often, if left unchecked we can get into the setting of what was once described as PLOM disease. [Poor Little Old Me] It's when the odds seem stacked against you and mentally you become a victim due to the frequency of the mishaps taking place.  

When things happen with us

Life can through is into situations where we are presented with "the curve ball". It's when circumstances happen to us that we can't necessarily explain or even understand. The can comprise of a variety of elements that impact us. E.g. Illnesses, relationship changes, financial storms, are said to be around the usual suspects. 

Often we are in the mode of minding our own business totally oblivious to the experiences of another who can be right beside us. The are plagued with uncertainties and doubts which can hamper their productivity at work. 

How we interpret it? 

People are so strange that when you observe various behaviours it's important not to necessarily take it personal. Sometimes the individual being observed may be going through some challenges that stem from a variety of areas that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Don't be so quick to "write yourself into the script".  

Situations from people's childhood, another life they once lived and a myriad of other experiences can manifest themselves in your current environment. They impact you, but you are not the cause of it and it's important that you recognize it early or that relationship can go on the rocks of non-recovery because of the intolerance of the parties. 

The need to get out of our own way 

If you have been around in life long enough. You'd hear the older people say things like "Be still", "Peace be still", "It's in God's hands", and other such sayings. They are meant to comfort you, however in many instances you may not understand what they are trying to convey especially if your experiences or readings are limited. You may not have the experience base on which to draw. 

That's alright. It's not necessarily your fault. As a people we try to apportion fault to situations too much. It is our way of trying to understand what's going on; to make sense of situations. We take things quite personally often projecting anticipated behaviours of interactions that may never take place. 

Learn to accept everything on its own merit. You may not be the only one receiving a particular treatment. We may be too defensive from our personal viewpoint when the other person may need help and just NOT know how to ask for it. 

Now that celebrities have shown their own vulnerabilities, some are actually being more aware of and have enhanced their tolerance of mental issues. Pressures that impact behaviour are not always about you, though it may be difficult don't take it personal. 

Moving ahead 

Can you really say that you know someone? Can you be a character reference for them and they for you? Often people live within the same house, work within the same environments; yet there are behaviours that arise that surprise everyone completely since they are completely left field. 

I'm not identifying any situations since they are so widespread and can impact the same individual in different ways. Though I am not formally trained in Psychology, these are observations made over an extensive times. 

It's not a license to behave as you like, neither is it to say that you must accept all behaviours that go outside the norm of what you've become accustomed. However, you must be aware so that you can better navigate the stages of the relationship(s) with people that you interact with. Some, including you, may have quite a bit of baggage to attend as you deal with the issues you confront. We don't ever really know. 

Here are somethings that you can employ to help you better function in your interactions with people:
  • Empathy
  • Patience
  • Courtesy
  • Fairness 
  • Enhanced tolerance levels 
  • Being non-judgmental
  • Understanding you can only address your personal issues since you can't change anyone else
  • Listening
These eight (8) are not the total list, but it's a start. I'm sure you will encounter others as your awareness grows. 

Walk a little faster, give someone a compliment to brighten their day, smile (one that is genuine and goes up to your eyes), decide to be a winner and not a whiner. Stop complaining, focus on solutions and don't dwell on a problem. You have what it takes - be a difference maker. 

Really men?!? Haven't we been tokenised enough?

International Men's Day [IMD] passed recently and I was ONLY made aware when i received the greetings via social media from well meaning...